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Welcome to Grand Bovine!

Grand Bovine proudly offers an endless cornucopia of wholesome, delicious, comedy products made from nothing but the freshest, most all-natural ingredients synthesized in our secret overseas laboratories, from which they are immediately whisked away in our fleet of un-refrigerated barges to make the long journey north across the equator to our processing plants in Mexico, where, once we've run everything through our patented "One-Hour Bovinizing" process, that goodness is shipped directly to your grocer's dairy case, ensuring that you get the highest-quality dairy-like comedy experience science can provide!

But wait, there's more! Now, through the modern miracle of the In-Tor-Net©, you can experience the thrills of Grand Bovine in your home, naked! Wrap your mind around...THE GRAND BOVINE NETWORK:

Retarded Movies - "Plan 9 From Outer Space". "Stoner". "Eegah!". These poor, old movies have been abused for years by countless "critics", who wrote them off as B-Movie trailer trash. At Retarded Movies, we give these old timers a good home where they can spend their twilight years being loved and accepted for what they truly are: Retarded.

Retarded Games - Have you ever played a video game that seemed to have been made by monkeys living in a cave on a faraway planet? Games with characters named "Ricky Fighters" or strange phrases like "LUCKY SEVEN!" sprinkled throughout? These are my favorite games. These are Retarded Games! Plug in that old Colecovision and let's get retarded!

Supersonicsoul - Do you remember the 1979 NBA World Champion Seattle Supersonics? If so, then you are a nerd. Luckily, so are we. Supersonicsoul - We remember when the Sonics didn't suck!

Time For Drinking - Do you enjoy serious political discussions? Then you will probably hate Time For Drinking, the drunken and profane ramblings of an angry, incoherent nincompoop.
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Paul Merrill :: permalink